Everybody Was Tofu Fighting!
by BabyBrown
Summary: Inspired by the new promo. "Someone's jealous" he observed in an annoying sing-song voice. Kat scoffed, "I'm not jealous. That's stupid. You're stupid."


**This was sort of a rough draft and the first time I've written anything for this fandom, so I apologize if it comes off as OOC or just plain bad.**

**Takes place after _Great Expectations_ and my interpretation of the promo for the next episode. Title comes from a t-shirt (and obviously a play on the song by Carl Douglas.)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the show, it's characters, Barbie, Heidi Montag, Miss South Carolina or "**_Cherry Pie_**" by Warrant. I also borrowed a line from the movie.**  
**Extra cookies if you catch it ;)**

**Any and all mistakes are mine.  
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**"I smell tofu," said a deep voice behind her.

Kat wrinkled her nose, "Ugh. Don't remind me."

The throaty chuckle that followed caused shivers to travel down her spine. His laughter always unnerved her since he rarely even managed to crack a smile.

A large, warm hand rested on her lower back and she tried to ignore the fluttering in her stomach. She already had a low sense of self-respect with the way she transformed into a hormone ridden teenager around him. The last thing she needed was for him to get an inkling of how much his mere presence physically affected her body.

"You do realize that this is the second time you've blown chunks in front of me," he said, bringing her attention back to the present.

Kat turned on the spot and gave him a glare that could wilt small plastic trees; completely ignoring the fact she made no effort to remove his hand from where it now rested on her left hip.

"Gee, must be the effect you have on my upchuck reflex." As always, a snarky reply was ready on her lips.

Patrick ignored the insult and looked down at her with an amused smirk, "Did it taste better the second time around?" He seemed to love teasing her about the moments she was the least graceful.

"If you continue talking about it, you'll get to taste it for yourself" Kat shot back.

Patrick made a '_tsk'_ sound with his mouth. "Sorry, but I only let girls puke on me after the second date."

"Is that _before_ or _after_ you get them wasted?" Kat countered.

A small chuckle left his lips. "Wouldn't you like to know," he said with a teasing grin.

Before they could continue playing their favorite game, a walking Barbie doll came to a stop in front of Patrick.

Kat gave her a disinterested look. "Can we help you?" she asked.

The blond ignored her and slapped Patrick so hard, Kat felt whiplash.

"That's for abandoning me on Saturday night," she said angrily before turning on a dime and briskly walking away.

Kat felt her stomach drop to her feet and looked up at Patrick for confirmation.

When she saw the slight look of guilt on his face, she felt the urge to slap him herself. Instead she just mumbled a curse under her breath and walked away from him.

----

Exiting the lunch yard, Kat could tell Patrick was following her by the loud footsteps pounding behind her.

"Kat. Wait." His hand roughly grabbed her arm. "Let me explain."

Kat came to a stop but jerked her arm out of his grasp. "You should really get back to _Malibu Barbie_. She'd probably be happier to see you than I am right now."

"It's not what you think" Patrick pleaded.

He said this with such sincerity, the fire in the pit of her stomach seemed to die down a bit; but that didn't mean she still wasn't pissed.

"I think it's exactly what I think. You take me out on Friday night and then Heidi Montag back there on Saturday."

Kat could feel her body temperature start to rise...and definitely not in a good way.

"So should I wait for the next girl to come up and slap you or did you actually stay home on Sunday?"

Patrick looked at her for a couple seconds before smirking in the sexy way that always aroused her, while also being infuriating at the exact same time.

"Someone's jealous" he observed in an annoying sing-song voice.

Kat scoffed, "I'm not jealous. That's stupid. You're stupid."

She knew she sounded juvenile but she couldn't help it. Anger (and yes, jealousy) made her IQ drop seventy points.

Patrick just chuckled and folded his arms across his chest, causing the muscles in his arms to bulge out in a way that made Kat want to run her hands all over them. She quickly used her anger to reign in her hormones.

"You are _so_ jealous" he repeated.

Kat hated the satisfied look on his face so she kicked him in the shin.

"What the hell!" he exclaimed while clutching his leg.

"I'm not jealous" Kat yelled at him.

"Then why the hell did you just kick me?" Kat had no sarcastic explanation so she settled for just glaring.

"Kat," there were those damn shivers again, "I did go out with her on Saturday-" a grunt sounded out of him when Kat kicked him in the other leg.

"Will you stop kicking me?" Patrick yelled.

Kat readjusted the backpack on her shoulder and shrugged, "Stop being such a jackass and maybe I will."

Patrick groaned in frustration and rolled his eyes, "I only went out with her to pay for our date on Friday."

Kat frowned. That was...unexpected.

"Come again?"

Patrick sighed, "I told you I would handle the bill on our _Dine-and-Dash Date_ somehow."

Kat was having troubling following. "And how does Miss South Carolina factor fit into this story?"

"Her dad is the owner of the restaurant," he explained.

"And since you were _so upset_ about not paying the bill," he continued, "I went back right after I dropped you off at your house. Fortunately, the owner's daughter goes to our school and sort of has a thing for me. He threatened to press charges unless I took her out to dinner on Saturday."

He then rubbed the side of his face and smirked, "Although I'm guessing she didn't exactly enjoy our date."

Blood rushed to Kat's face as she began to feel more idiotic by the second. She had no idea what to say. She was always jumping to the worst possible conclusions and most times, it caused her to act rashly or put her foot in her mouth...sometimes both.

"I told you not to pay for the tofu" Kat lamely said.

Patrick raised an eyebrow. "Why do you think I got slapped? I ditched her halfway through the date" he said, then smiled in that special way of his.

Despite herself, Kat started laughing and the relief on Patrick's face was almost comical.

The bell suddenly rang; interrupting their conversation.

Kat weakly pointed behind her, "I've got AP Biology."

"I'll see you later." Patrick stated, rather than asked.

Kat nodded and turned in the direction of her next class. She made it two steps before she heard his deep velvety voice.

"Hey Kat," he called out.

She quickly turned around, "Yeah?"

Patrick just stared at her for a moment before taking a couple big steps over. He then placed his hands on her hips and pulled her body flush against his. Her heart skipped a beat and she was finding it hard to form coherent thoughts. The heat generating between their bodies was delicious.

"I forgot to ask, how's the breath?" He said in a low voice, his lips hovering over hers. They slightly brushed against her lips as he spoke.

"Wouldn't you like to know" Kat teased with a quirk of her eyebrow.

"Hmm" he hummed, before devouring her lips with his own.

---

After a few heated seconds, Patrick pulled away. Kat looked up at him with heavy eyelids.

"So, how's my breath?" she sounded winded when she spoke.

Patrick smirked down at her and ran his thumb across her bottom lip.

"Like sweet cherry pie."

Kat rolled her eyes at him before pulling the collar of his shirt down, bringing his lips back to where they belonged.

On hers.

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**So there it is. Short and hopefully sweet. Please review and let me know what you think! =D**


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